I recently met a lady who had lost her husband 10 months ago. She told me that she couldn’t muster the courage to declutter her husband’s belongings because of emotional reasons. And when she finally did it, it was nothing less than letting go of the emotional baggage she had been holding on to for months. Accepting that it was really hard for her to do so, she said that she now felt relieved.
Given how sensitive this topic can be, I have always held myself back from talking about it. But let’s face the truth. We’ve all experienced the death of a loved one at least once in our lifetime, and we all know how challenging it can be to declutter their belongings.
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If you’re reading this because you’ve just lost a loved one, my heart goes out to you. Losing a loved one is a huge life transition that comes with a whole lot of challenges. And while you take your time to process the loss, I hope that some of these tips help you in making the task of decluttering a little bit easier:
1. Take Your Time To Process The Loss
No one is in the right frame of mind after losing a loved one. And it would be ruthless to expect yourself to declutter immediately or even after a few days after the loss. Give yourself grace and enough time to process what has happened, even if the waiting period goes up to 3 or 5 or 8 months.
If you’re trying to declutter too soon, take a step back and ask yourself if you’ll be able to look at all the memorabilia without being overflown with emotions. It can be really hard to declutter clothes, photos, furniture, accessories and memorable items that belonged to the departed soul, and it’s important that you wait long enough to gain back the strength to sort through this stuff.
2. Seek Help
Going through the belongings of your loved ones can be an extremely emotional task which is why you must not try to do it alone. Ask for help from someone who shared an equally emotional bond with the person you’ve just lost. Do not shy away from seeking help because it’s going to be an emotional journey.
If you are looking to declutter without feeling stuck, call a friend to be your decluttering companion. Make sure that this friend remains neutral while guiding you to take the right decluttering decisions.
3. Start With The Less Sentimental Areas
Remember that you need to start decluttering with an area that helps you give a head-start without making you feel overwhelmed. A bathroom, garage or kitchen is a good place to begin with because you won’t have to deal with items that are too personal.
While you can choose to keep the leftover toiletries for your personal use, items like buckets, mugs, used razors, toothbrushes and makeup products should be trashed.
When decluttering the kitchen, you can take the overstock of pantry items to your home. Any leftover food kept in the fridge or on the countertop should be tossed away on an immediate basis.
4. Sort Through The Sentimental Areas
Now that you’ve looked through the less sentimental areas, it’s time to move on to the space that carries the personal belongings of your loved ones. Bedrooms and living room are the two places that will have a lot to rummage through, so make sure that you prepare yourself for the emotional roller-coaster it’s going to be to sort through these areas.
In bedrooms, you will find clothes that will be hard to let go of. Even though you’ll feel tempted to hold on to all of them, you know that it isn’t possible. Allow yourself to keep some of their clothes if you have space in your own home. It can be a shawl or a jacket they loved to wear or a jewellery that held close to their heart. If they’ve left behind a bunch of photographs that you wish to preserve, get them digitally scanned before discarding their physical copies. You may even find some old cutlery sets or chinaware or antiques that your loved one considered to be sentimental items. Allow yourself to keep one or two sets or more if you have space for them.
5. Talk To Your Family Members
Even if your siblings and other related family members didn’t help you in the decluttering process, make sure that you invite them over to decide if they want to keep some of the belongings.
Moreover, your loved one might have left behind a pet or two who will need a new home now. Decide who amongst you all will be adopting the pets and make arrangements for the same. If no one from your family can adopt the pets due to any reason, make sure that you get them adopted in a good family sooner than later.
6. Look Through The Paperwork
It’s important to inform the bank and credit card company about the passing of your loved one. Try doing it on priority. You must also sort through the home office of your loved one to see if they left a will behind or if there’s an insurance policy that needs to be taken care of. Call their attorney to help you move ahead in matters of the will and the insurance company to let them know about the death.
7. Make Donations
Although it can be hard to give away the belongings of your loved one to someone else, it can be a great way to derive some happiness in times of grief. The fact that many of these items will add value to the life of the underprivileged can help you feel better. It’s also a great way to honour your loved one. While items like furniture, décor, clothes and footwear can be donated, you can sell pricey items like jewellery and antique ware.
While the above tips might help you in decluttering your loved one’s belongings, understand that you are allowed to take your own time before you do it. Give yourself enough grace and know that it’s okay to keep certain items even if they don’t add value to your life.
Did you find it challenging to declutter a loved one’s belongings after their death? If so, how did you overcome it?