There was a time when I felt that I was born with zero inability to get rid of stuff. I remember having a drawer that was full of items that belonged in the garbage. It had a rusty alloy chain that I bought as a kid, some old comics, coins from a century ago, a lot of artwork and chocolates that I had collected over time but didn’t eat because I feared tooth decay. This particular drawer had nothing I could call as ‘useful’ and yet I couldn’t declutter it because of the feeling of guilt. It took me years to collect these items that were once very dear to me. The mere idea of letting go of them felt like throwing away a part of myself that I once used to cherish, even if it was from my childhood.
Guilt often makes you hold on to stuff that is worthless and isn’t adding any value to your life. Maybe it’s a piece of jewellery that was passed down by your mom and even though you know you don’t need it, the mere thought of getting rid of it makes you feel like you’re a bad daughter. And it’s okay to feel like that! That’s what makes you a human. But let’s accept the fact that your guilt won’t suddenly make these items useful. And no matter how much you want to keep them, there will come a time when letting go would be your only choice.
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If you experience the feeling of guilt every time you think of decluttering an item, don’t worry. You’re not alone in this boat. Here are a few ways to declutter your stuff without drowning yourself in an ocean of guilt:
1. Remind Yourself Of The Benefits Of Decluttering
Guilt always arises from an underlying emotion. Sometimes, you feel guilty for letting go because you fear being seen as wasteful. Or maybe because this materialistic world has forced you to place your identity in physical objects.
In order to let go of the emotions that are driving you to the feeling of guilt, remind yourself of the many benefits of decluttering – both physical and spiritual. Imagine how great you will feel looking at a home that is clean and tidy and how relaxing it would be to spend time in it. Think about the time you will be able to save in cleaning and maintaining your home and how this time can be put to a better use.
2. Always Start With The Easy Items
It helps to start with the items that are easy to get rid of to help you get into the zone. You can just grab a basket and pick everything that you are sure you won’t be needing in future. This will clear out some space in your home and you will be able to find the confidence to let go of things you are hanging on to because of guilt.
3. Stop Looking At Decluttering As A Big Task
The main reason why you find it hard to let go of objects is because you have been looking at it as a big project that needs to be done before a certain deadline.
Before you start decluttering, tell yourself that it isn’t too big a thing and you’re not in a pressure to accomplish it all in one go. Break the entire decluttering project into small, manageable tasks that can be done as and when you feel comfortable.
If you have just half an hour at your disposal, use it to sort through your collection of books and call it a day. Leave the sentimental items for later after you’ve decluttered the clothes, shoes, accessories, knick knacks and kitchen items.
4. Discard Mindfully
The best way to let go of the emotion of guilt is by getting rid of the unwanted items in a way that is helpful to yourself and others. There must be items in your house that aren’t useful to you but can be a source of joy for someone in need. Consider donating old clothes, books, shoes and blankets to a donation centre or shelter home to be able to replace your guilt with joy.
Money is also a great way to replace guilt. Grab all the items that you can’t get rid of because they were pricey and organize a garage sale to make some money. If possible, recycle or repurpose the things into something useful.
5. Forgive Yourself For Letting Go
Guilt, more often than not, kicks in because you are not prioritizing your happiness. You find it better to keep an unwanted item rather than having to feel guilty for getting rid of it. Maybe the item in question carries sentimental value or maybe you think that it can suddenly become useful someday. Whatever the reason, learn to practice self-compassion to be able to let go of what’s not needed without feeling guilty.
If you are struggling to get rid of the expensive coffee maker that you haven’t used in years, forgive yourself for choosing to discard it. It’s important to be kind to yourself especially if you are more of an emotional being who feels too much guilt. Letting go is an act of self-care and you must never feel guilty for caring for yourself.
6. Define Your Decluttering Goals
It will become easier to let go of your guilt if you know what your decluttering goals are.
Are you looking to have a cleaner looking space that is easy to maintain?
Are you trying to embrace minimalism as a way of life?
Are you looking to downsize because you are moving to a new home that is smaller than the one you currently live in?
Having a goal will help you stay focused on your decluttering journey and you will be able to fight the urge to hold on to unwanted items out of guilt.
If you want to start decluttering your home without having to feel guilty about it, try doing it a little mindfully. Do a little self-talk if needed, and tell yourself that your home is your own space and that it’s your right to get rid of anything you don’t love or need. And if you experience guilt even after you’ve gotten rid of the items, know that it’s just temporary and will go away in a few days.
Do you experience decluttering guilt? What do you do to fight it? I would love to make this a 2-way conversation so feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below or write me at hello@theaestheticabode.com.